You Were Always Going to be my Forever
by ramyshipper
Summary: My first story. A slightly long one-shot on moving on from the past, living in the now, and knowing who will be your forever.


**Hey Guys! This my first shot at a fan-fic so I thought I would start out with a ramy one-shot! I hope you all enjoy, and reviews are always appreciated **

**I hope you like it!**

**Ricky POV:**

My eyes continued to shift from my professor to the ticking clock on the wall above his head, but even when I was concentration on my business professor, I didn't hear a thing he was saying.

My mind was somewhere else completely. It's the Tuesday of my second week of college, and all I can think about is Amy. It seems to be like this every time I leave her side, even for the shortest moment of time.

I know I now have the rest of my life to be with her, but I still cant seem to ever not be thinking about her. Though lately, my thoughts about her were not just focused on my unconditional love for her, they were focused on the past. Lately, I couldn't help but regret things.

I regret not fighting for Amy from the very beginning. I hate that I had buried my feelings, and tried to push them away by sleeping with countless women, and lying to Adrian about wanting to be with her, when I just couldn't handle seeing Amy so happy with Ben, though, I guess I was to oblivious to notice that she really wasn't.

I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, considering how happy I am and how perfect my life is. But I can't help but think how I could have done so much better by Amy. I remember when Amy was told me she hated me. When I look back on it now, she hated me because I was an idiot. Because she loved me, and I did everything I could to avoid it.

So when I heard that, I didn't look past it and try to understand it. Or to maybe feel something and express myself. No. Instead I ran off to sleep with Adrian to vent my anger. It had always been Amy; I knew that from the moment I met her. I just don't think I've ever let her known that. I just think, I don't want her too look at me as a coward who ran off and slept with countless women to bury my emotional issues after falling in love with that 15 year old girl I fell in love with at band camp.

These thoughts have been eating me alive, because day after day I cant wait to get back home and pull Amy into my arms and call her mine, but I've never been man enough to own up to my mistakes.

When I finally snapped out of my thoughts, I realized people were leaving the class and I could go home to where Amy would be waiting in our little apartment above the butcher shop with our wonderful son John.

On the drive home, I continued thinking about the girl I'm going to share the rest of my life with. Words can't describe my love for her. Its not just an emotion, it something that takes over me physically when I'm with her. Even when I'm not physically in contact with her, I can feel her love wrap around me, warming me. It's the simplest of things. Whether its seeing her pull back her hair, only for it to fall forward again. Or when she stares at me or bites her lip, because its only an innocent habit but she doesn't understand how much it makes me want her. When I kiss her, my heart stops and time freezes, because nothing could be better then the taste of her lips. To me now, even when she falls asleep in my arm when we stay up late talking about anything and everything and bed, its just as beautiful as when we share a passionate night in bed together after exploring each other physically and emotionally. Amy is my everything, and she needs to know its not just because of John, but because it was her from the very beginning.

As I walked up the stairs into the butcher shop, I rehearsed the things I was going to in my head. I know this wasn't such a serious thing, but this is Amy and Me, and our past is a touchy topic sometimes, ironically enough, because of how we treated each other.

Finally I got to the top of the stairs, and although I was slightly on edge about sharing such deep regrets with Amy – something I had never really done – I was so excited to see the love of my life. It had only been a few hours since I last saw my beautiful fiancé, but to me a minuet away from her was too long.

I put my key in the door, and turned the lock entering the apartment. I put down my books and bag in the corner of the room and looked up to see Amy, lying on the sofa bed, concentrating intensely on a book she was studying for English. She was so into it she hadn't really noticed my arrival. She was biting her lip, and as usual, I couldn't help but think about pulling her into my arms and crushing lips to hers. Instead, I stood there and watched her, returning to my thoughts and wondering how had I ever had the strength to hide my feelings for incredible person lying there in front of me. A few seconds into another episode of nerve wracking thoughts, Amy looked up from her book, a grin taking over her elegant features.

Next thing I know, Amy is in my arms, her arms around my neck and legs around my waist. Her lips were then forced upon mine, her hands roughly moving through my thick hair. I immediately fought back with my lips, my tongue exploring the inside of her a month, a place that would never be disappointing to visit. My heart started racing and my breath uneven. Sooner than I would have liked to, I forced myself to pull away. These thoughts were eating me inside and I needed to let them out.

At first, Amy looked at me with a curious look on her face, but soon her expression turned into a calm and loving smile. I smiled back, and put her down gently on the sofa bed, as I sat next to her, taking her hand and kissing her on the cheek, and without fail her cheeks turned a ruby rose. "Hi Ricky", Amy said softly giving me a gentle smile. "John is at my parents, my dad picked him up." Amy's smile never left her face. "I thought we could spend some time alone, considering school takes up a lot of our time lately, and I've missed just being with you!", she then leaned over and gave me a quick peck. "That sounds great Ames. Maybe we could even pick him up tomorrow afternoon? I know it's a long time, but tomorrow is Saturday and I've missed you too, and I would like to spend tomorrow with you as well", I said smiling at her. She looked so beautiful when she was happy. I saw her eyes light up, and she leaned forward and kissed me.

Again, my thoughts entered my head and it was now or never. "Amy, I want to talk to you about something that's been on my mind. In fact, it's been on my mind for a while now." I couldn't help but frown. Not at her, but at me. I saw the smile fall from her face, quickly forming a frown. "Ricky, is everything okay? Did something happen?", Amy said quickly rushing her words.

"Oh Amy, no! Don't worry! There is just something I need to say, that I really should've have told you a long time ago." I braced myself, and realized it was now or never.

"I need you to know, that I regret a lot of things about our past. I know I cant take them back, or more importantly, I know I cant do things for you that I should've don't at the time. Amy, I knew I had feelings for you on band camp, and I just wish I had been man enough to act on them. When I found out about John, I should've been there more than I was, I should've been with you, because in truth I really did want to. I could've have always loved you like I do right now. I was always in love with you I was just scared to let myself feel that, because I don't deserve you Amy. I don't deserve to have you stand by me, I dont deserve your love. I love you so much, and I cant wait to spend everyday of our lives together, because you just make my world brighter. I just regret not making the past easier, and I regret running from you back then. I regret Adrian, and all those other girls. I regret wanting you, and not letting you know it. I love you so much Amy, and it hurts me to know how much I have hurt you, when you have always deserved the best."

I looked up at Amy for the first time since I started speaking, and saw that tears had formed in her eyes. I reached my hand up to her smooth check, and brushed away the tears falling beneath her eyes. "Amy, I just need you to know how much I do love you, and that even though I don't deserve you I will never make the same mistake of not loving you again. You are my everything, and you need to know you always have been. Before John, before Ben and Adrian, before New York. I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you, and I just thought you should know that I'm sorry, for not always giving you the love you so truly have always deserved."

Amy looked up at me, her big and beautiful eyes staring at me intensely. When she looked at me like that, my heart melted. When she looked at me like that, I knew nobody would understand me like Amy Juergens does. I stared at her, waiting for her to say something.

"Ricky the past is the past. Even though you didn't want to be with me then, and you couldn't allow yourself to love me when I was having John, you love me now. You were meant to love me now. You've grown up Ricky. You've made the choice. You chose to give up those ways because eventually you allowed yourself to feel. You allowed me too love you, and you let us fall in love. And that's what matters now, because the person you are now is a wonderful man and father, and fiancé. You chose this, because you wanted it, so you fought for it. And now you have it. And maybe if it weren't for the past, or the mistakes we BOTH made we wouldn't be these people we are supposed to be, and we wouldn't truly appreciate the things we have. But we do. So forget the past for now Ricky, and just be. I love you, I always have and I always will."

It was here that tears began to form in my eyes, but before I could even let the tears come out, Amy's body was against mine, and our lips were once again fight each other. I wrapped my arms tightly around her body, knowing that this girl will always be the best part of me. I pulled my lips away, and rested my forehead against hers and whispered, "You are my life Amy Juergens, you are the better part of me and I will love you for eternity, for all that I am." Amy stared at me, a smile forming on her face. "Ricky Underwood, I wouldn't change a thing, because the people we are now and the things we have achieved couldn't make me happier. I will love you forever."

And with that, I pulled her body against mine, the heat rising in my body as her hands explored the back of my head and my lips made my way down her jaw from her lips, until I reached the base of her neck, nibbling on it passionately, knowing it drives her crazy. She reached down and pulled her shirt over my head. I still smirk when I see the way she still admires my sculpted torso. I flipped her off my lap and onto her back. Removing her of her clothes, leaving her in her underwear I wouldn't blame her is she smirked at me too, because I cant help but marvel every time I see the features of the beautiful women I get to be with for the rest of my life.

We continued to kiss passionately, until we were both fully unclothed. We made love passionately working in union, going in time with each other. Both exploding into a world of ecstasy at the exact same time. I will always consider Amy my first in a sense, because I have never ever felt this was with girl. Every time Amy share this experience with each other, it seems to better than anything I have felt before. She is the one girl I have ever made love to, and will be the only girl I will ever make love to.

Afterwards, we lay in each others arms, for once, the past becoming nothing to regret, but something to thank for making us the people we are today, and leading us into each others arms. With that, Amy pushed her head further into my neck, and tightened her arm across my chest, kissing my jaw, letting know that we would share many more moments like this one right now. With the past being just that, the past, I allowed my self to kiss Amy on the head and whisper, "Amy Juergens, you were always going to be my forever. I love you."


End file.
